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[othellovonryan]

"Yello yello, you're conversing with Donatello, inventor extraordinaire. Leave a message after the beep and I'll be with you soon enough."

Username: Bootyyyshaker9000

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[othellovonryan]

I'm the best patient. [For injuries.]

[He's a nightmare for illness.]

The only time I have ever been remotely bad was when my whole family was a mess and I had to take charge. I, admittedly, got a little lost in the sauce as it were.

The rest of the time I sit down and let whoever fuss as they need to. I learned young that it made everything a lot easier.

[bluediligence]

Huuuuh ...

I think I'd have A Time, too, if that kind of thing happened. [ she would 100% deal with everyone else first at her own expense ]

But it's good that you can accept the fussing. I know too many people who'd try to walk it off while they're secretly bleeding everywhere.

[othellovonryan]

You do it in far less extreme circumstances, so yes you would. [Gonna call you out for that.] That was when Leo had a cracked shell, so he was out. Dad at least knows how to do first aid so he helped with the less severe injuries, and Casey had apocalypse training so he was a fairly competent nurse. I probably wouldn't have lasted without them.

That's dumb to do if there's no dire reason for it. If I don't need to be fixing people, then I'll take the fixing. Or if I need the fixing to fix people. There was one too many incidents as a kid for me to think otherwise.

[bluediligence]

[ Sticks her tongue out at him for the callout. Nyeh. ]

I can't deny that I have a habit of putting other people first, but I do, at least, try to maintain some logic behind it. [ it's just a slippery slope. ]

Almost done-? [ please be almost done ] I'm starting to feel a little ...

[othellovonryan]

You had to be talked into healing yourself. You're going to need to prove that in the future.

Three more. At least nothing else looked as severe.

[bluediligence]

Still had, ow, some logic. [ some. maybe, possibly faulty. shh. ]

[ a hitching sigh of relief. three more. she can handle three. ]

[othellovonryan]

You should value yourself more.

You can still do all you can for others without having to let yourself fall to the wayside. Its like what they say what you're supposed to do in airplanes.

[Stitch. Stitch. One last stitch.]

[bluediligence]

Hey, I value myself plenty ...

[ she's almost holding her breath for these last few though, tense and shivery at the prospect of no more stabbings she is so ready to be done ]

[othellovonryan]

Until its put up against another person.

[Stabby stabby and done.] Wrapping it up now.

It is possible to be selfish and still help people.

[bluediligence]

You're bullying me when I can't run away. Rude.

[ SHE

wobbles briefly, the relief of no more stabbing hitting hard ]

[othellovonryan]

That is what I do.

[Time to clean the other wound.]

Its what I do. I'm selfish, but I help people.

[bluediligence]

[ by this point the ache and the tension are easing their way into a full body thing, like a non-specific blanket of pins and needles. her wings droop and so does her head. ]

I'm pretty damn selfish, too, y'know.

[othellovonryan]

Are you? How do you figure?

[Cleaning cleaning and wrapping. Sorry for the stinging disinfectant.]

[bluediligence]

[ Disinfectant is not fun, ow. There's a flinch, but it's relatively faint after all of everything else. ]

Well, it's. Kind of a whole mess of complicated feelings on my end. But I know my stubbornness and my morals have caused problems.

[othellovonryan]

Ah, yes, the selfish selflessness of an inherently good person.

[bluediligence]

"Inherently good," he says ...

[othellovonryan]

Yes.

You're an inherently good person. That doesn't mean you haven't done bad things, the inherent part is what is in your base nature.

Even if you do something bad, it doesn't make that goodness go away, and that's evidenced by your guilt and all the nasty things you say to yourself.

There are some people who are inherently good and inherently bad. That doesn't mean they're incapable of doing the other actions, its just they usually have strong outside motivators to do those things and are usually conflicted about it.

[bluediligence]

... [ hey, donnie?

put the steel chair down, donnie. ]

[ because oof ]

[ she's quiet for a time after he says his piece ]

I never used to want to hurt anyone. Anyone. Not really. These days ... [ Ha. Ahahaha. ] ... I still don't wanna, for the most part. With a few exceptions. But I'm willing to do what if I have to, when I have to. [ ... ] One of the biggest hurdles to get over was ... I was so stubborn it, I found it hard to budge even when my choices could've, would've, did hurt the people I should've been looking out for.

[othellovonryan]

[Never.]

That makes sense for your character and how you react to things now.

My brothers are the same way. For all Raph loves a solution that can be solved by punching it, he doesn't want to cause permanent harm. Leo can easily do bad things if he sees a need for it, but he's also the kind to hate himself for it for eternity.

I'm not sure how Mikey would react, but hopefully he never has to answer that question. That's why he has all of us. In a perfect world, Leo and Raph wouldn't have answers to those questions either.

Sometimes life forces you to make hard choices you don't want to make. Sometimes you don't change when you need to, because it goes against everything that you are. That's-

Its not a good or bad things. Its a cost benefit thing. What do you lose, what you do gain, the two choices have pros and cons. You weren't wrong to be stubborn. You weren't wrong to change. You were just deciding what cost you were willing to pay for the benefit you got.

[bluediligence]

[ another long, quiet moment to consider, before, ]

Mm. I'm ... Yeah. You're not wrong. [ a soft breath that could almost have been a laugh. ] Or at least ... What you're saying doesn't sound wrong to me right here, right now.

You mentioned your brothers. What about you? [ She has a feeling she might know the answer, but still. It's ask, and to listen. ]

[othellovonryan]

I'm not inherently a good person. Not sure I would go as far as bad, but the argument could be made.

But I love inherently good people, and I do like helping people. So I'm a good person by making the choice to be so.

So upon seeing how much my brothers struggle with things I simply don't? I'm fairly confident in my perspective.

[bluediligence]

[ A quiet hum ]

... There's a lot of meaning in that, I think. Making the conscious decision to do good. To be kind.

[othellovonryan]

I know there is. It's not a decision I take likely. If anything, it's extremely difficult to choose to be kind.

It would be easier to be cutthroat, ruthless, to not care beyond mine entirely.

But it makes things better for all of us that I try for more.

[bluediligence]

It's... honestly kinda funny, how familiar this sounds.

[othellovonryan]

It does?