othellovonryan

[Leo sort of huffs a sigh through his nostrils. Donnie's just trying to help. He's trying so hard to be there and listen and Leo already had his breakdown about this, the night Hunter disappeared for a day. There's no point to it now.]

Not really. It's over and done with, I talked to her afterward and we're gucci. We didn't win. [He shrugs the shoulder not pressed into the mattress.] Just... Kept thinking afterward that's the kinda stuff Draxum originally made us for.

Ugh. Its always the worst when you don't win. [He's gone hard for bad games and to have it mean nothing is just...]

[Well, he has Hot Soup carved on his arm to remember that.]

...for violence, yes.

Does it worry you?

I dunno. I don't think it worries me, but I dunno what it does.

[He's quiet another minute just... Thinking that over.]

But yeah, that's what you missed. Bad game, party, voting game, Hunter growing up a year.

Hm. [He nods, just looking at Leo's hand for several long moments.]

We are more than what we were made to be.

Maybe you already came to that conclusion, but...

Just because we were made for violence doesn't mean that's what we have to be.

...Hm.

Yeah. Rise up instead and be heroes.

[There is a pause.]

[A very long pause.]

[There is a small huff, something sad and heavy in it.]

....it feels ludicrous to say it, doesn't it?

To claim we're heroes while we're here, when sometimes the only choice is to do something horrible. To act as unherolike as possible, because its the only way to protect those we prioritize more than other people. Not people we hate or think are bad, just...

Ones we don't care about personally.

["Don't care about personally". Donnie???

Leo shifts to turn his head to look at him, brow-arch drawn together confused.]

Do you not care about Robin's Egg?

[He looks up at that, looking quite blindsided.]

Wha-

What makes you think I don't care about Robin's Egg?

I put three of them in the bunker? I would have done more if I had the time and Shiro wasn't a nightmare to figure out how to keep contained.

[?????]

"The only way to protect those we prioritize more than other people. Ones we don't care about personally."

Sounds like you don't care about 'em.

[Math lady meme face for several beats.]

Oh.

No.

I meant... [He looks away.]

I meant we prioritize those we care about. And hurt the ones we don't.

Instead of it being criminals or people causing harm, people who need to be stopped, we just...

Hurt those who didn't endear themselves to us.

If I didn't like Robin's Egg, I wouldn't have been willing to forgive them for killing Hunter.

[Leo listens and settles to just... giving Don's hand a gentle squeeze.

Leo doesn't really have the heart to mention that's how he always operated anyway. Family before all others. Just now that family is more complicated.]

Guess there's nothing for it here.

[He hums, silent for several moments before he lifts Leo's hand to his shoulder.]

I could use healing. The bruises are deep and I can't go without my battleshell that long. Not outside of here or Robin's Egg. What I get for losing track of time so long.

[Leo doesn't look at him, but he listens. And huffs a little sigh through his nostrils. Of course.

He focuses on that, feeling the bruising and his stripes light up with his ninpo as that soft warmth seeps into Donnie's skin to start the gradual healing.]

Should find a clock or something with a timer.

I know. I'll need to set something up on my phone.

[He dies sigh in relief as the pain fades.]

Why did you want to be a hero? You specifically.

We know why Raph does. I know why I do. Why do you?

[He doesn't answer for a minute. A long minute while those bruises heal and the skin returns its natural coloration.]

Because it's the right thing to do.

And why do you want to do the right thing?

Billions of people, everyday, don't go to the lengths we do, to do the right thing.

What drives you to go that far?

Because we're the only ones who can do the stuff we do back home.

True, but that isn't what I'm asking.

Let's turn it around.

Why do you think I do it?

I have no idea.

Now we both know that isn't true.

I have a point.

Just....trust me?

I am trusting you, but pretend I'm not as observant as I've proven to be.

...

You know it isn't because it's 'the right thing to do,' right?

And it isn't just because I want to keep you all safe.

Of course, there are the times where we really are the only option, between Shredder and the Kraang, but we weren't required for paper thieves or the Silverfish or all the other mutants, not really. They're not such an unbeatable challenge for normal humans if they're prepared.

It isn't because its cool to play hero, though that was part of why I wanted to go along at the start.

I have a reason, separate from all that. My own selfish reason where I decided I wanted that life despite how.....how detached I can be from those I have no personal connection with.

Edited 2023-04-25 21:26 (UTC)

Like I said: pretend I'm not as observant as I've proven to be. What reason?

I'm generous.

I like knowing my presence, my ideas, my inventions made a situation better.

When I help, it makes me feel good.

I like knowing that even when we have to hide and be separate, my existence mattered to the world, even if it's as small as keeping some person from getting jumped by silverfish.

I don't owe the world anything, I don't feel obligated to help, or guilty when I don't, not usually, but it makes me happy when I can improve it.

Hm.

[He just listens, only pulling his hand away once he's sure the healing finished with Don's bruises.]

Not a bad reason. Raph would probably have some thoughts about it, but I get it.

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