othellovonryan

You showed me the memory!

You-you just keep- [he grinds his teeth and let's go of Leo's hand, standing up to pace, hands flapping in the air.] You're scared and your stupid lack of faith in how much we love you is just-its-

[He growls and then he points accusingly at Leo.]

Fine!

Then we're becoming sextuplets!

Why is it a lack of love in me, and not just hey I was practically dead turtle walking when I woke up here?! I believe in you guys! I do.

But as soon as you guys can figure out how to use our powers to revive dead turtle brothers? I'm dead.

I know that, who do you think put you together again?! The world almost ended and I didn't get to stop for thirty-six hours after the fact! [His voice cracks.] April was furious with me when we finally took off my battleshell, she hadn't realized how much I was relying on it to keep from bleeding out while I worked because I wasn't the one on the edge.

Because Mikey was the only one who knew what I did, and he didn't breathe a word because we both knew I had to do the work. Casey didn't have the training, not for something that involved.

It wasn't easy. [He rubs at his eyes, the tears forming despite himself.] It wasn't we formed a portal and everything was fine. It was hours of work and desperation to stabilize you, to keep you from ending up crippled in some way because there was a lot of risks for it, to get rid of every bit of Kraang from Raph, to fix his eye, weeks for Mikey's hands to stop shaking, and Draxum said we were lucky because what we did would have killed weaker mystics.

It was terrifying and hard and I was the only one who could keep you alive so I buried the fear, the pain, the fucking whispers of the Technodrone that haunts my dreams because there was no choice.

Because losing you wasn't an option I could accept!

Edited 2023-04-30 10:44 (UTC)

[Leo listens. he lets Donnie expel all the poison in his thoughts. All the things they hadn't talked about, because while Leo knew how bad he was, they hadn't really talked about what happened after.

But the longer Donnie goes on, the more frustrated Leo gets.]

I never said it was easy. But that's great. You managed to save your Leo. We don't know about me. Maybe you did get me out somehow. Maybe I did die in there, maybe I never got out and I'm just stuck in a neverending stasis forever. Who knows! We don't know.

I believe you can do it. I really do. But until we know for sure? Don't bother bringing this up to me. I've been dying here too on top of everything else. So trying to say I'm 'not dead' is a moot point. I am dead, five times over.

Then Raph isn't my Raph! We're not from the same time either, that gap is just shorter and I already told you!

[The tears aren't stopping as he slams his hands on the bed spread, glaring at him.] Either you're my Leo or we're going to be sextuplets, that's six siblings born at the same time, because there is nothing, nothing I won't do for you. For our brothers.

All that matters is you get to be with your family, it does not matter how. Either you're mine and you're going to be fine, or you're mine here, go home with Hunter, and wait until I get the portals open to our Raph and your home and it's a big family reunion! They can meet Hunter and Eve and Choco and whoever else we adopted at the same time!

Fine.

If that's what it takes, then fine. [He's struggling here. Because he hates seeing Don upset, he hates being the cause of it almost as much as he hates honest, open emotional conversations.

He doesn't want to fight. He doesn't want to leave this on a bad note, but he doesn't know how to go back. He doesn't know how to fix this with some words and a hopeful attitude.

The venom and anger in his tone and shoulders melts. He's ...tired, more than anything. The last few days has taken a toll on him, and he's so tired. This wasn't how the conversation was supposed to go.]

I didn't- Mean it like that. [Take a breath. Breathe, Leo.] I know you'll pull that off. And I know you won't stop until we're all together in New York again, or the Boiling Isles, or wherever Choco is from if she wants to go back there. You've got this, Donnie.

Edited (I couldn't do it I couldn't leave them on an angry note) 2023-04-30 11:27 (UTC)

Of course I do! I'm not going to give up, I'm not-I'm not-

[The words get caught in his throat because he's. Not much better. He spent a week in the woods, drinking sure, but barely eating. Because he had needed to be away, because he had been running hard since he got here, and it all finally came to a head and he needed to stop having to deal with people for a while.]

[And while some of that ability is back, he's tired, exhausted, and there will never be a time where the thought of losing Leo would be okay. He wants to fix this. He wants so desperately to fix it, but he can't prove anything yet.]

[But maybe...maybe there was even a little sincerity in his words right now. At least some degree of willing to believe Donnie.]

[He wanted to believe it and he was so tired.]

[He sighs, shoulders and head slumping.]

[Then he moves forward and lets himself slump against Leo, a hand clinging to his shoulder.]

[Silent for a while.]

You could be a hero if you wanted.

In the Boiling Isles.

They have a magic school. How adaptive our ninpo is, I bet you could learn all sorts of new tricks.

[A concession. An understanding. Leo pulses out his ninpo to Don - understanding. grateful. an exhaustion but the kind that know there's a light at the end if he can just keep pushing a little further. Leo feels all those things when he thinks about this topic. Whether that light is leaving this place with Hunter, or that his brothers will find a way to get him safely, it doesn't matter.

With the closeness again though, Leo wraps an arm loosely around Don and just holds it there.]

I-i heard, yeah. Might be worth looking into.

You're clever. And you would be an absolute nerd in magic school, I bet you would be so excited that you'd accidentally start casting spells after a few lessons.

[He's still tired. Attempting to tease, some sense of normalcy.]

[As far as he can tell, confidence is key in the mystic. Believes it's why he can do his mystic tech. Clearly Hyperfixations are the way to hack into new magic possibilities, just get past those mental hang ups. It would be very interesting to see.]

It would be quite amusing if you ended up the nerd.

[He sighs, relaxing against Leo, his own Ninpo pulsing back. Love, hope, gratitude, his own exhaustion, but still there.]

[Don is buttering him up. Not unusual after an argument but it's still catching him off guard a little. Just throwing Leo slightly off his game.

He doesn't want to think about going to school of all things; everything he's seen and read and heard sounds like the worst nightmare for him. Sitting still and listening for that long.................]

Nah, I don't think I'd be the nerd.

If they could get Mikey still long enough, I bet it'd be him.

[It varies between the arguments, whether it's buttering up or just returning to a bickering status quo. But Donnie really really doesn't want to hurt Leo anymore by accident and he still finds himself off balance in regards to that.]

[Buttering up was safer, especially after the particular topics.]

Like we'd ever get him to sit still long enough. Barry's been having a time with him, even though Mikey knows he needs proper lessons with how much raw potential he's dealing with.

On the other hand, he would figure out how to convert Boiling Isle Spells into Ninpo magic by pure belief. He's do the spell wrong and still get it to work.

He absolutely would.

He'd have that place turned around in a month if he put his mind to it.

[God, he misses Mikey. He does not want Mikey here.]

We'll find out I guess.

[The missing Mikey desperately, but not wanting him anywhere near snek land vibe is real.]

He would have a field day. I'll have to check he doesn't sneak a beast demon off the isles for a pet. I do not trust the wild life to not have a tribble surprise as just a general rule.

[He loves Hunter, his world is fascinating to hear about, but it definitely has a lot of that going on from what he's heard and he doesn't want that in the lair and Splinter definitely wouldn't.]

Edited 2023-05-07 11:42 (UTC)

What would he even feed it?

[Who knows! Who knows what beast demons on the Boiling Isles actually eat?]

... I'd trust him with a palisman, depending on what it is.

Arsenic cookies are apparently popular. It sounds like anything poisonous is pretty safe for the native species.

....dad might allow for that. He never made any complaints about SHELLDON or PSDD. Well, them as themselves, he wasn't really questioning SHELLDON as much as the smart lair concept itself. The sapience may be the tipping point for okay.

I wonder if the conduit would make it easier to channel ninpo safely. I think they're supposed to be used with a witch's magic instead of just a replacement.

It might.

....Hunter's determined to make me one, so we could test it.

....oh, that's adorable.

Isn't it?

I have no idea what he's gonna do.

I'm sure it will have a lot of thought behind it. He puts a lot of work in his carvings. He's the one who makes all the ninpo tattoos. [When Donnie has to...re-enchant him after he dies. He's got at least two, might be three by now, I've lost track.]

And your powers are definitely best to test it as a conduit, though I have no idea how to test it for dangerous level of ninpo usage without Mikey. None of us know how to do anything that big.

Soon as he's done and I get some time with it, I'll let you know so we can test it out.

[He nods.] Please do. Try and gauge how much energy you use for your portals normally. Your powers are the most consistent, so we can at least see if it requires less energy with a palismen.

I mean it's like nothing burger when I use it, but sure. I'll ... try?

It'll be very helpful data.

Plus imagine how happy Hunter will be if there's evidence the gift he made you was helping? He would light up like a Christmas tree.

[He flops even more floppier than he was already.]

I knoooooow. He's cute when he's excited at helping.

[New potential ways to get Leo to take the science experiment seriously? Hell yeah.]

He really is. Its a major charm point.

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