othellovonryan | (no subject)

(no subject)

Noise

It starts as just irritation. A metaphorical crawling under your skin. Things are too noisy, too bright, there is too much happening all the time and you can't take it all in-

Then silence it, make it yours, make it you, take control and destroy what will not submit

It sounds so inviting, a freedom from the noise, but its wrong, its wrong, its wrong and the noise is getting louder, mechanical and foreboding as it sees you, it knows you are there, and it wants to make you apart of it.

Anatawa hitorijanai

For a moment, there is quiet.

You breathe.

And fall through water.

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I'll help you with your goals, Donnie! You know I will!

[ He grabs his turtle brother and YANKS backwards. ]

[Donnie screams as he's pulled back and the last of the tentacles are pulled out of his body.]

[There's blood.]

[There's a lot of blood.]

[And the Technodrone snarls, reaching out to grab at Donnie-]

[A purple wall forms between them, the Hamato symbol covering the wall.]

Just-stop! Let me think! I'll figure it out!

[The Technodrone snarls, clawing at the wall, but its standing strong.]

[ Ninpo - right -

Hunter plants himself next to Donnie, a hand out next to (but not touching) Donnie's own. Gold-gray light forms an extra layer of protection behind Donnie's, shoring up his defenses as best he can. ]

I'll give you all the time you need. We're brothers, aren't we?

Of course we are! They just-they're so domineering, its hard to keep them from getting like this- [He gestures at the snarling beast.]

They don't understand you're just freaking out, and them acting like this isn't going to help anything.

[Though now Donnie's probably out of the console-]

[There are the injuries. There's a lot of injuries.]

[And there's also strips of teal over his skin, looking like a snake coiling around him.]

[ Is the blue good? He hopes so ... it looks like Leo's ninpo.

He wishes he could heal. The best he can do is surge with his own ninpo and try to help that blue layer keep him together. ]

Do you really want to work with the Kraang like this?

[That teal is definitely not Leo's usual blue color.]

[Though as soon as Hunter tries to send the Ninpo at it, it]

[Moves]

[And Donnie hisses, flinching back from Hunter.]

I-I need to keep you guys safe-

[ huh. okay. That ... isn't right then? Wait, is that the corruption Yfanke sent them in to get--?

Yeah the movement is bad. Hunter sucks in a breath. ]

I'm sorry for this - normally I'd ask permission, but -

[ He surges in to try to hug Donnie, blazing bright with his own ninpo. ]

You aren't alone, okay?

[Burning-]

[It burns it burns it burns-]

[The ninpo is definitely hitting up against SOMETHING that is not kosher with it because you know]

[Conflict versus the inherent togetherness and trust of a family]

[Whole thing]

[Donnie shouts and pushes Hunter away, scrambling away, shaking between the blood and the smoke that's now coming off his body.]

I don't-

I don't need reassurance! I don't need it! I am just doing what is necessary to protect all of you, why can't you see that?! [He's trying to pull himself to his feet against the console.] You shouldn't be here, the Technodrone is dangerous i-if you're not equipped to deal with them.

[ OW OW okay well. Now he's reasonably sure he can see the problem at least.

Hunter backs off the hug, but hovers close. Not quite leaving Donnie's space. ]

We don't want you to hurt yourself to us. We want to face this together.

[He's breathing harshly, leaning heavily against the console.]

Except they don't. Even you are a hair's breadth away from doing the same.

Leo keeps throwing himself on the sword and pretending he's fine when he's not. Raph has always been too ready to sacrifice himself for us, and the way I helped him best is gone. So many of you are just so eager to let yourselves suffer and hurt and tell yourself its okay-

At least I acknowledge the actual cost!

Then - help me. Build me something I can use to defeat the Kraang. So I don't get hurt, and we can get them out of here.

[ he gestures down at himself. ]

I'm really, really bad at making stuff.

You're perfectly good at making stuff, you've been making new glyphs for months, you just don't believe in yourself, why do you think I put so much effort in the bunker to keep you from making glyphs?!

G-glyphs are different! They're clearly not strong enough to get rid of the Kraang!

I invited the Technodrone in!

Why!

Because there are thousands of years of knowledge and physical power I can tap into that I can't do with my machines, especially when they can only be the ninpo version!

Why do you need them, though? There’s so many other people here who can teach you things! We could make glyph machines! You’ve already helped me make things with glyphs—!

Because I already know I'm too weak to protect the people I care about!

I was refusing to use the resources I already had because what? My peace of mind? What good is that when my family is forever plagued by nightmares? Phobias? New traumas by the week?!

Edited 2023-02-15 13:00 (UTC)

…

You’re not weak, Donnie. It’s not your fault.

[ a deep, wavering breath. ]

I get it. Being - being the one to get through things when others didn’t. And still getting traumatized, but feeling like it doesn’t matter, when it isn’t even useful trauma.

I understand you, Donnie. We - we bonded because we understood each other when no one else did.

Edited 2023-02-15 13:15 (UTC)

...I know.

I know that. That-

It means everything to me, Hunter. To have that. That's-

[His hands clutch at the console, body hunching forward.]

That's why I want to protect you. That's why-even if it makes you hate me-

I don’t hate you. I’m never going to hate you, Donnie. I just - I know what it’s like being drawn in by promises like this. By someone who promises strength you don’t have, and a role you think is right.

[ He kneels next to Donnie at the console, looking up at him. ]

Trust me?

Of course I trust you. That was never a question. [He's not looking at Hunter, the guilt clear on his face.]

I wasn't-

I wasn't being promised anything. I chose to use the information. I chose to access it.

The Technodrone didn't exist until after I started it, but its. Its fine. I have them under control. I have it under control.

You don’t, Donnie.

… just like I didn’t have control of Belos. It’s not weakness, he’s just strong. And ruthless.

And so are they.

I know they're ruthless, strong, but...

But they need me to still be able to use the Ninpo. The fact is, they can only try to take so much from me for them to get what they want. They have to convince me. I just have to remain unconvinced, and I have access to thinks I just don't normally.

I can make biotech. I can potentially cancel out the powers of the snake. The knowledge is all there. I just need time.

Some things are too dangerous, Donnie. I could probably do a lot too if I decided to track down that Belos fragment in the woods and tried to incorporate him. I’d be an incredible witch with his power - I could keep up with the rest of my team -

[ He swallows. ]

But. It would be a bad idea. This is too.

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