othellovonryan | (no subject)

(no subject)

Noise

It starts as just irritation. A metaphorical crawling under your skin. Things are too noisy, too bright, there is too much happening all the time and you can't take it all in-

Then silence it, make it yours, make it you, take control and destroy what will not submit

It sounds so inviting, a freedom from the noise, but its wrong, its wrong, its wrong and the noise is getting louder, mechanical and foreboding as it sees you, it knows you are there, and it wants to make you apart of it.

Anatawa hitorijanai

For a moment, there is quiet.

You breathe.

And fall through water.

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You do deserve better! You deserve to hope! To fight for being able to live!

You deserve to live for decades, to have a happy life, and you're here, you're alive now and that means you don't-you don't have to just accept death again. It means we can keep you alive. There's so much time to assure it.

Yes! I do! You're right, Donnie!

So - please help me believe it. Help me see it through. WITHOUT hurting yourself to make it happen.

I'd rather hurt then see you hurt.

I know. But - can you do this? For me?

I - I promise to work on it too. To believe in you.

I-

[The teal wraps around his neck and he gasps-]

-can't-

[ The teal ...

Hunter reaches in to try and yank it away? His own gold-gray ninpo is bright in return. ]

[Donnie screams as Hunter touches it, jerking away. The teal still burns, sizzling against his skin-]

[But it's also less wrapped around his neck then it was moments before.]

[ Hunter flinches at the screaming - he doesn’t want to hurt Donnie - but he’s talked in circles for too long, and this must be the corruption he’s here to get out. He hopes. Titan, he sure hopes. ]

I’m sorry - I’m sorry -

[ He coats his hands with more gold-gray light and reaches in again. One hand pulls again at the teal light, while the other wraps around Donnie’s back. ]

You aren’t alone! I’m here!

Stop! Stop, I don't need-I can d-do it a-a-alone-!

[He's struggling to try and get away, screaming in pain, as the gold-gray spreads over the teal, burning burning burning-]

[There is a flickering in his mind's eye of grey that shifts to purple.]

Don't stop

[ Purple - purple is good, right? Purple HAS to mean he’s on the right track. He really, really hopes so.

Hunter keeps mumbling apologies as he leans his forehead against Donnie’s, both hands holding his face gently. His ninpo continues to pull away at the wayward teal; it flings pieces of the glowing light away, or burns them up with his own glow.

He doesn’t say anything verbally, really, but he does his best impression of the I’m here turtle chirp. He’s KINDA BAD at it. But. Trying!! ]

Edited 2023-02-16 23:04 (UTC)

[It hurts.]

[It hurts them both because the teal is hot, burning hot as it fights to stay on Donatello.]

[But the gold-grey burns bright, and purple wraps around the colors, digging, digging, digging into the teal, helping pull and tug it away from his scales.]

[Donnie doesn't stop screaming, but as the chirp comes]

[The screams turn to sobs, still pained, but the pain is not just physical as he stops fighting]

[Merely slumps against Hunter fully as the teal is tugged and ripped from his arm and despite the burning pain]

[There is a warmth thrumming in Hunter's core, growing as more of the teal is banished.]

[ Good. GOOD. Hunter clings to him in turn, just wrapping both arms around his shoulder. It burns, and Hunter lets out a faint, pained noise of his own, but - they can handle this together. Right? Neither of them have to be alone.

He keeps bunting his own head gently against Donnie's. ]

Y-yeah. Just like that. We're doing great.

[It takes a few minutes. Its agony and pain of several types]

[But as the teal is discarded, the room shrinks around them, no longer so massive and from the other side of the wall, the Technodrone snarls and slams on the wall and]

[Its still part of the Kraang ship. The main console is still on their side of the wall.]

[But the Kraang shippiness on their side of the wall partially turns into a medbay, placed inside a subway car. There are screens with various scans of the Hamato's, mostly Raph and Leo, but others as well, including people from Snek, even Hunter.]

[As the burning finally stops, but the crying doesn't, as Sacrifice finally moves a hand, just one, to grip at Hunter's shirt.]

[ So much better. Hunter lets out a little laugh of sheer relief? And then follows it with a lil questioning chirp. Okay?

He's here. They're safe. Neither of them have to go it alone. ]

[Chirp. No.]

[Slumped against Hunter, probably soaking his shirt.]

[Another slam of the claw against the wall.]

How is he supposed to protect anything of his like this? You're just making him weak.

[ Shirt soaking is fine. Not being okay is fine. He doesn't chirp back this time, just a gentle comforting headbutt instead.

THIS guy, though ... He glares at the Kraang through the wall. ]

No. You're the one who's too weak to even know what strength looks like.

[Another soft whimper and just curls up against Hunter because]

[Sacrifice very much is not okay. For many reasons.]

[A scoff, and a haughty look given through the wall.] Another rallying cry of togetherness and love? Perhaps concepts that have some merit, but in the end, they just take things away from you.

[ Hunter keeps a gentle level of pressure up against Sacrifice. ]

Those are good things too. Yeah. But I'm talking about trust. It takes SO much to decide to trust someone - and it's one of the hardest things I've ever done.

A hivemind fixes that problem. There is no need for doubt then.

I'm just...so tired. [Softly, against Hunter's shoulder.] I don't want to keep hurting myself to help, but...but it feels like no one will accept it otherwise...

Doubt is good too. Doubt makes trust a choice, every time.

[ He leans against Sacrifice. ]

I - I accept you. Any way you want to help. I promise.

Doubt is just another way to accept defeat before you've even fought.

I know you accept me, but accepting help is different.

I solve problems. I fix things. I used to be able to be selfish all the time, but then little things started and then...

[He looks at the console.]

I can't be hurting.

Leo, Raph, they suffered so much more...

I accept your help too then.

[ He glares at the Kraang through the wall. ]

How much do you have to suffer for you to feel like you're even with them?

You could just be stronger than any of that 'trauma.'

I can't be even with them. I just...have to help them. When they're okay, I can worry about myself.

I. I get it. I feel that way too but.

[ A deep breath. ]

We don't have to be the strongest, or the greatest, or - anything. We don't have to suffer. And - we can be weak too.

They love us the way we are. Don't you love me the way I am?

Of course I love you the way you are.

I don't-I don't want to be strong because I hate being weak, I just need to keep everyone safe. To take care of them.

[The Technodone scoffs, pacing back and forth.]

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