othellovonryan | (no subject)

(no subject)

Noise

It starts as just irritation. A metaphorical crawling under your skin. Things are too noisy, too bright, there is too much happening all the time and you can't take it all in-

Then silence it, make it yours, make it you, take control and destroy what will not submit

It sounds so inviting, a freedom from the noise, but its wrong, its wrong, its wrong and the noise is getting louder, mechanical and foreboding as it sees you, it knows you are there, and it wants to make you apart of it.

Anatawa hitorijanai

For a moment, there is quiet.

You breathe.

And fall through water.

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I do trust you! Why aren't you listening?! This isn't about the fact I don't trust you!

Its about the fact that all of you are okay leaving me behind!

… I’m not okay with leaving you behind.

You would die for me.

I would. Yeah.

But I don’t want to. And I won’t, because you’ll protect me. Right?

That's what I'm trying to do! [The teal is creeping up around his neck.]

You, Leo, Raph! Others! You're all so willing to just...to just die, not even thinking how it hurts everyone you leave behind! Where you think that somehow...somehow that solution is ACCEPTABLE!

It’s not acceptable.

[ Said quietly, simply. He eyes the spread of that blue with concern.]

It never was. I’m still struggling with that. So - please don’t think it’s acceptable for you either.

We can work on it together.

I'm not planning to die for any of you.

I'm planning to keep you safe. I can deal with a lot more trauma situations then the rest just because I can be pragmatic about most of the worst stuff.

All of you might hate me, but-

But there's a chance you won't.

At least when I Sacrifice, [the teal creeps up higher] I don't give up hope for better. I just accept it might not happen, but at least I'm not dead.

[ Hunter reaches out a little. ]

Then hope, okay? Don’t take it all on your own. Please.

[There's contact and he jerks back, the teal sizzling on his skin.]

Its better this way! At least all of you will be fine, and I can take it. I can take being alone!

Edited 2023-02-16 08:41 (UTC)

I don't want you to be alone! Please!

I don't matter!

Yes you do! You matter to me!

[ He gulps in a breath. ]

You're my brother! You're my best friend! Even before I got close to Mouse, you were there for me! I - I didn't even remember that I had friends back home. Not really.

You showed me what it was like NOT to be alone. That I could have someone who understood me as I was, and not who they wanted me to be. I never knew that feeling before I met you.

Then why are you so ready to accept your death?!

[He slams a hand on the console.]

Why are so many just-

Ready to give up on themselves?! You and Crow and Leo dodges talking about the future like he's already planning his next sacrifice!

[His other hand clutches at his face, the tears starting.]

There is time, there is possibility, but no one...

No one wants to believe they don't have to go, that the science and magic are right there to fix it.

How can I believe you won't leave me behind when so many people act like they're already gone right in front of me?

Because I'm messed up! Because my uncle has prepared me for death all of my life! And when he took me over, it - it was the only thing I COULD do!

[ He's crying a little, messy; he scrubs at his face with one hand. ]

But you're helping! Every time we talk, you remind me why he's an awful garbage human being and I deserve better! You're better!

You do deserve better! You deserve to hope! To fight for being able to live!

You deserve to live for decades, to have a happy life, and you're here, you're alive now and that means you don't-you don't have to just accept death again. It means we can keep you alive. There's so much time to assure it.

Yes! I do! You're right, Donnie!

So - please help me believe it. Help me see it through. WITHOUT hurting yourself to make it happen.

I'd rather hurt then see you hurt.

I know. But - can you do this? For me?

I - I promise to work on it too. To believe in you.

I-

[The teal wraps around his neck and he gasps-]

-can't-

[ The teal ...

Hunter reaches in to try and yank it away? His own gold-gray ninpo is bright in return. ]

[Donnie screams as Hunter touches it, jerking away. The teal still burns, sizzling against his skin-]

[But it's also less wrapped around his neck then it was moments before.]

[ Hunter flinches at the screaming - he doesn’t want to hurt Donnie - but he’s talked in circles for too long, and this must be the corruption he’s here to get out. He hopes. Titan, he sure hopes. ]

I’m sorry - I’m sorry -

[ He coats his hands with more gold-gray light and reaches in again. One hand pulls again at the teal light, while the other wraps around Donnie’s back. ]

You aren’t alone! I’m here!

Stop! Stop, I don't need-I can d-do it a-a-alone-!

[He's struggling to try and get away, screaming in pain, as the gold-gray spreads over the teal, burning burning burning-]

[There is a flickering in his mind's eye of grey that shifts to purple.]

Don't stop

[ Purple - purple is good, right? Purple HAS to mean he’s on the right track. He really, really hopes so.

Hunter keeps mumbling apologies as he leans his forehead against Donnie’s, both hands holding his face gently. His ninpo continues to pull away at the wayward teal; it flings pieces of the glowing light away, or burns them up with his own glow.

He doesn’t say anything verbally, really, but he does his best impression of the I’m here turtle chirp. He’s KINDA BAD at it. But. Trying!! ]

Edited 2023-02-16 23:04 (UTC)

[It hurts.]

[It hurts them both because the teal is hot, burning hot as it fights to stay on Donatello.]

[But the gold-grey burns bright, and purple wraps around the colors, digging, digging, digging into the teal, helping pull and tug it away from his scales.]

[Donnie doesn't stop screaming, but as the chirp comes]

[The screams turn to sobs, still pained, but the pain is not just physical as he stops fighting]

[Merely slumps against Hunter fully as the teal is tugged and ripped from his arm and despite the burning pain]

[There is a warmth thrumming in Hunter's core, growing as more of the teal is banished.]

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