othellovonryan | Seasons Inbox

[ CHIRP CHIRP ]

I speak only the truth. [ She shuffles just enough to press a kiss to his cheek. Another chirp, deeply familiar by now - mate/safe/home. and then another: love. ]

[ Her feelings for Donnie in a nutshell ]

It's so much easier to be brave when I'm with you. [ by his side, in his arms, back to back or five feet away. whatever, wherever. and she's going to need that bravery for all this. ] And it's harder to forget I'm with you when we're like this, y'know? My math's flawless.

[Oh no. He was not ready for this dere. He was ready for serious talk of sadness, NOT THIS ASSAULT OF DERE.]

[His hold tightens on her, pulling her closer as he chirps back. Love. Skymate. Safe safe safe.]

The math is fairly solid for emotions.

"Fairly" my butt. It's flawless.

[ Ffffuck. She loves him. ]

[ That's far from a revelation at this point. Of course she loves him. Water is wet, Earth is spherical. Still -

She hugs him as best she can from this position, even if that just means curling her arms over his. Snuggles in close, breathing deep. ]

I really, really love you. Really really really. Yours for life. [ With the mark to prove it: a scar nestled against the crook of her neck, carefully tended and fully healed, given to her with love. ] ... No matter how stupidly melodramatic my life is.

[He squawks.] Three really's! [He just curls up about around her, trilling and chirping against her shoulder.]

That-Choco-

[More chirps because he was not prepared at all.]

[Lovelovelovelove]

[Because the chirps are easier when she's gonna do this.]

[ THREE REALLYS ]

[ or five if you count the two preliminary reallys. preliminareallys. ]

[ a quiet coo-y purr kicks up as he curls around her, pitched solidly toward "love/affection/comfort" rather than spice ]

Just. Wanted to say it. [ Make sure he k n o w s beyond any shadow of a doubt. SHE'LL GIVE HIM A MOMENT, THOUGH. ... and herself a moment, too, just quietly chirping back to him. ]

I don't know if I should be feeling happy and loved, or nervous that you felt the need to assure me this much.

[JUST!]

[He knows this will be a hard talk, is he being buttered up?]

[ HUGS HIM TIGHTER ]

[ squish ]

Um, well, if it helps - [ she doesn't know if this'll help?? maybe it'll help ]

... It's the fact that I feel safe enough with you that I can even ... try to do this. That's how you make me feel. Like I want to try and try and try, no matter what, no matter how hard it might get.

[ she reaches for one of his hands, pulling it up, pressing his palm over her heart. it's beating hard. ]

Waymarks and anchorpoints. Counterbalances.

That's why I wanted to say it. I'm ... I'm nervous, I'm really nervous, but - ugh, if this talk wasn't this talk I'd go grab the emotionshare potion right now - it's ... it's a giddy kind of feeling? Doki doki.

So you're...nervous, but also happy? Because you're having this talk? Because you...feel safe even though the talk may be unpleasant?

[Its]

[Its a lot, if he's honest. He's trying to follow the pathway she's laying out, but it certainly sounds like one of those convoluted, difficult paths of emotions.]

[He presses his hand over her heart. His other hand reaches for one of hers.]

...how long have you been wanting this kind of conversation with anyone?

Y-Yeah. That ... sounds right? I know it's a lot, and it's weird, and - it's ... it's a lot.

[ She laughs softly, and, oh, oh fuck goddamn she's already getting emotional. Keep it together, Korone. She takes his hand when he reaches for her, lacing their fingers together. ]

... Years. I think. I think ... she probably talked about some of it with Kaito?

But that would have been her, not me. If it happened.

And you can't remember, so it really doesn't count.

[He squeezes her hand.]

...I'm not sure I understand the logic of what's going on, but its important to you, so I'm glad I can provide?

[ so it really doesn't count. she squeezes back, tight, a stutter in her breathing. ]

S'okay. I - I don't know how to explain it at all, so - just ...

I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're -

[ GESTURES ]

[ WITH HER FREE HAND ]

You.

Here. With me. And you're ... you want to support me, even when it's. You know. This. [ Stupid and convoluted and complicated and full of FEELINGS. ] ... Makes me feel less alone with it all. Less like I might drown. There's been a few times where I thought I might.

[Listen, if you can't remember the therapy, it Doesn't Count.]

Of course I want to support you. Especially when things are confusing. It seems when things are confusing is when you most need support. A-at least I do. Even when its being given space, but knowing they're there.

So I do understand that part, at least.

[ Oh, but there's so much MORE that went down the proverbial drain. ]

S'honestly incredible, how much of a difference it makes. Not being alone. Just - like you said. Knowing someone is there.

[ a wry huff ]

... [ a tighter squeeze of his hand, and she curls a bit. ]

Knowing ... trusting you'll stay.

You'd still see me.

[He nods against her shoulder.] Yes. Even if they may not understand, they stay anyway. [And he knows how hard he can be to understand.]

I'll still stay. [A reassurance, the baaaaarest brush of lips against her mark.]

I'll always want to see you.

It's acceptance. [ Meeting halfway as best they can. ] Finding all the ways you can fit together.

[ A gentle shiver runs through her when she feels that whisper of a kiss. She leans into it, into him, tilting her head just a little.

Just enough to make space for him, if he wants to linger. ]

[ She's quiet a moment. Then, softly, ]

My dad didn't.

[Well, with the invitation?]

[He does. Doesn't press harder, just a gentle press of his lips.]

....

[Oh, he doesn't like that.]

He didn't want to accept you?

[ It feels like an affirmation. Wordless reassurance that they're there, together; that he's got her, and he's not going anywhere. She's wanted.

She belongs. ]

[ A shudder of a breath. She swallows. ]

It's. Complicated. And I don't - I don't wanna be unfair to him. [ It just hurt. Worse, somehow, than so many of the actual literal physical tortures she's endured over the past three years. ]

Something went wrong.

Not ... not with my worldhop, not with my magic; that was all fine. Right address, right time. I was home. My version of my world. But -

When I saw Dad, he asked me who I was.

And when I told him ... I - fuck, Dokkun, I used her name, and he told me I wasn't. The way he said it - [ ... She closes her eyes. Pulls herself back from the memory as best she can. She's here. She's here with Donnie, she's okay. ] Mn. Nevermind. [ Dial back. Rewind. ]

S'complicated. "I" was still there. From before Imeeji. Korone was the only missing piece.

When it comes to dad's, you're allowed to be unfair when you're hurt. [Said softly. Understanding.] Being fair comes after it stings less.

[Sometimes Donnie had to be unfair to his dad. Then he could be fair and they could figure out how to move forward.]

You....were still there... [A deep frown.]

You mean...an alternate you?

[ ... Donnie gets it all too well. She nudges her forehead against his shoulder with a sigh. ]

He didn't recognise me when I had a pretty dress and makeup on. I should've known he wouldn't when I look like ... when I'm -

When I've changed this much. [ Physically, mentally. The whole nine yards. ] But I went and got my hopes up anyways. [ Like an idiot, she doesn't say outloud, knowing that Donnie would call her out fot it. Bwuh. ]

[ She presses her forehead in harder. ]

Mnn. No. Kinda? But - no, it was more like - I've been trying to figure out how to explain this for months and I still can't. [ UGH. ] ... That was the right universe, and it was the right time. I know it was, with the same certainty I know - [ a quiet chirp of his name. ]

....maybe he has face blindness. [It would certainly explain it because REALLY.]

Its family. [He hugs her tighter.] You should be able to get your hopes up with family and for it to usually work out well enough.

... [He pulls her closer, trills a soft, comforting sound.]

Were there two yous present?

He doesn't. [ SHE WOULD KNOW.

He's just.

Not ... the most attentive, except for those few times where he is. Ugh. A tilt of the head lets her rest her ear against him, taking in the soft trill ]

Mm. She kicked dad out. I - think I was having a panic attack. Then I was here.

Maybe it was-

Ah.

This is why you freaked out when I spoke with Wylan about Wash probably being the cause.

[ Hahhhhhhh. ]

I was spooked 'bout a lot of things.

That. Knowing how Wash-nii would feel about Wylan-kun disappearing on his watch at all. The things Wylan-kun said. How badly hurt he was.

[ she sighs ]

I really don't think it was the magic. At least for me. But I can't exactly prove it unless we can science a way to scan and analyse a memory.

I mean....

I don't know how accurate Draxum's memory spell is, if its based on perception or if we could science it accurately...

Isn't that the one where you can get attacked by the person whose memories you're looking at-?

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