(no subject)

[othellovonryan]

Noise.

It starts as just irritation. A metaphorical crawling under your skin. Things are too noisy, too bright, there is too much happening all the time and you can't take it all in-

Then silence it, make it yours, make it you, take control and destroy what will not submit

It sounds so inviting, a freedom from the noise, but its wrong, its wrong, its wrong and the noise is getting louder, mechanical and foreboding as it sees you, it knows you are there, and it wants to make you apart of it.

Anatawa hitorijanai

For a moment, there is quiet.

You breathe.

And fall through water.

Comments

Re: Music Room

[othellovonryan]

I very much am.

Oh, yes! Over here.

[Pointing over to where the computer screens are and leading the way, please ignore the bottomless pit, that's fine.]

[He'll hit a button and get rid of the screensavers of images and show the screen full of various icons with name and pictures of people's faces, along with things like 'Dr. Feelings Therapy Notes' and 'Emotional April Conversations.']

Re: Music Room

[allevilthings]

[don't worry she has experience walking past those and not acknowledging them, it's all good]

[anyway, let's see what you have on me, you adorable megalomaniac]

Re: Music Room

[othellovonryan]

Name: Catherine Foundling

Age: I don't think Fuck Off is a real age. She looks in her twenties. She has a very parent aged adult vibe. Maybe Fuck Off is code for 'older than they look' like they always do in anime.

Height: 152cm/5 foot (She seems bigger)

Team: Mouse

Objectives and Taboos: Unknown. Apparently the cult wanted her to guess wholesale as well. Though she may know them by now. I should try to find that out.

Cultist Thoughts: Truly an impressive specimen. We'll need to ensure she stays more protective of her peers than contemptuous of us.

World Notes: Incredibly high and powerful magic. She has a deal with a god she helped ascend. A Below God maybe? Dark, potentially considered Evil, but Evil is probably akin to not fully understood and self righteous judgement from others. It does make her capable of a fire that burns magic eternally until it goes out and fractures a person's personal timeline.

World has strong social cast systems, probably not very advanced with technology. Medieval like armor is common. People in general don't understand the want to ask and answer better questions.

Validation Source: Unexpectedly effective. Maybe because she knows someone similar? It makes it feel like I'm being judged against a peer which makes it feel more important.

Analysis: Maybe I really should make it a policy to never learn about people through death games unless I'm personally interacting with them. I knew being hostile was a non-option, Hunter loves his team too much, but I had been angry when I heard of Shirou's death. Even if he didn't know if it was targeted or accidental, Shirou certainly wasn't going to be mad about it, so I thought I would be.

And much like when I spoke with Adora and Venti, I found myself blindsided when I actually spoke to her. Faster than those two even. At least I was looking for some way to not be mad because Leo asked me on purpose, but Shirou is too passive to truly ask me to not be angry.

I still wonder if I made the right choice to change my mind. (". . . Whatever Foundling-san may be doing, I am certain that she is pursuing the path that she believes is right. Even if it is difficult for her . . . even if it is painful. Even if it means she is evil for it.

If she is here, within your heart, Donatello-san . . .

Then, I'll put my faith in her. She has my trust. "

Shirou chose to trust her after a lengthy deliberation. His words nor decision were based solely on my sake. He believed in her intentions. He will not begrudge us forgiveness, and not just in his relenting way of his.)

I know I am not an easy person to understand. Within a few sentences, she had me pegged almost to a tee. Obviously, some things were wrong, but I've always known I was lucky to have the family I do. The limited human interaction at home, and the research I had done with whatever is wired peculiarly in my head has shown more than enough evidence that not everyone has a family who tries so hard to understand such extreme quirks. This place has only reinforced that. There are plenty who are kind and keep an open mind, of course, but there are many who see malice where there is none, greed that isn't present, and heartlessness where that is, sometimes unfortunately, furthest from the truth.

But few understood the core of me so thoroughly as she did. Maybe people would be more willing to partake of my services if they understood I make things because I enjoy building new things instead of thinking I only do it for profit. Its funny how many people would get free things out of me if they didn't keep reminding me I should be charging, ha.

She

She's the first person to actually ask me to work on a project with her. Not simply make something for her or Mouse or someone else. It wasn't a project I brought up, though even that's had minimal success, with only Hunter and the Greenhouse getting anyone willing to work with me on something that's beyond basic construction.

She thinks I can help with a project, with enchanted armor. She heard me offer to help with the dungeon and realized I could do more and wanted to work on something. She's willing to help me learn the parts I wouldn't know to do myself. She's willing to teach me skills that I have been struggling to try and figure out on my own.

The only teacher I've ever had was dad, and that was only ninja training after he got the basics of reading and math when I was five.

I




There had been two things I've wanted in this place, because I would never get it back home. Honestly, I did not expect the romantic prospects to be the easier one to find, but it really had been someone to work with and learn from that had been denied repeatedly. Someone who was willing to respect what I was capable of, but still get there are some things I don't, and be willing to help me learn.

Someone whose willing to be patient when I'm socially inept and understand that I'm not looking to hurt anyone. I just want to learn, to ask better questions, to make new things, to have new avenues to make things better. I really thought I was doomed to never meet anyone like that. Either they wouldn't be able to show me anything new, or I would have made such a dismal impression that they would write me off entirely. But if she has to talk down a god from destroying the world and decided to help them, then I'm fairly confident she really will forgive any of my social faux pas.

I hope it happens. I want to do it. I want to get that experience at least once, to know what its like to work with someone on a project, who knows what they're doing, instead of just being told to put that piece and that other piece together. I want the chance to learn more of what I can do without having to go in blind.

I want to connect with someone while trying to make something new.

She offered a place where I could have some understanding and make sense. And I think she does. At least, I want to learn more about her so she makes sense. Nothing has been confusing yet, but I also only know a bit of her. But if she's going to offer to understand me, then its only the fair thing to do. That's how friends are.

And I really, really want to be her friend.