othellovonryan | (no subject)

(no subject)

Noise

It starts as just irritation. A metaphorical crawling under your skin. Things are too noisy, too bright, there is too much happening all the time and you can't take it all in-

Then silence it, make it yours, make it you, take control and destroy what will not submit

It sounds so inviting, a freedom from the noise, but its wrong, its wrong, its wrong and the noise is getting louder, mechanical and foreboding as it sees you, it knows you are there, and it wants to make you apart of it.

Anatawa hitorijanai

For a moment, there is quiet.

You breathe.

And fall through water.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can’t imagine holding onto it. It would burn me up.

I wouldn't say I'm holding on to it. Its just...

Its a scar. Not actively bleeding out, but its left its mark.

And even with that, one of the first things you list are gifts.

I find a lot of families that don’t appreciate their bonds. But I guess I’ve never really seen a family that has that love, and has to deal with the scars.

Of course. Gifts are important.

You haven't known me long, and you haven't known me at all without a Corrupting influence in the mix, but its...

Difficult.

To express myself when it comes to emotions.

Here, I can be honest and straight forward because so much of that is tied up into my physical body. Here, either I understand what I'm feeling, or I don't and it goes into The Pit until I do.

But outside, words get caught in my throat, meanings get jumbled, things get lost all the time. Even if I know what I feel, what I want to say, it doesn't always come out, no matter what I do.

But gifts? Gifts I can do. If I can't get the words, I can show people I care. Show I pay attention. That I want them to be happy and at least some of the meaning gets through.

I don't always know how to talk to dad, but I know what I can give him when I struggle with the words.

Family is the most important thing to the Hamato. Even to do. He wouldn't be the mess he was if he didn't love them so deeply. Sometimes things get in the way. Life gets complicated. People hurt each other without meaning to.

But being family, real family, is trying even after you've made mistakes.

You’ve had corruption this entire time?

[Frowns a little, but not going to be hard on not realizing. Apparently, she didn’t have anything to compare him to.]

[She really didn't.]

Yes.

Discretion was better for my plans, so acting like a suspicious person wasn't very productive.

It does make for a very weird dossier for you since I was debating if I wanted to be invested enough to kidnap you.