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[othellovonryan]

"Yello yello, you're conversing with Donatello, inventor extraordinaire. Leave a message after the beep and I'll be with you soon enough."

Username: Bootyyyshaker9000

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[bluediligence]

[ at the headbonk, she reaches around to give him another of those affectionate lil headpatscritches ]

… Mm. It really sucks to have somebody — somebody whose opinion of you, understanding of you, faith in you, really matters — question, and worry. [ So sayeth Choco "Definitely Not Thinking About Kuroba Kaito Right Now" Korone. ] The one thing I can say is … and this is conjecture and projection on my part — it's usually … maybe not fully, but at least partially, as much to do with their own self-doubt and insecurities as anything else.

Which isn't to say that some self-reflection isn't still warranted. It's like we've been saying this whole time, right? Communication is hard and people, and their feelings, are messy and complicated.

[ Gently squeezes her arm against the one he's got wrapped around her. ]

Tryse-san phrased that so clumsily. [ At a time when they were both getting wound up about the whole situation, too … ] I'm hoping … really hoping, that scaling back your conversations will help with that kind of thing. Both in terms of giving each other some space, and getting your real meanings across to each other.

One of my other suggestions to her was -

Uhm. Basically ... the conversational equivalent of flashcards?

[othellovonryan]

They are messy and complicated.

Criticism can be hard to take, I know that, but its also easier if I just know what it is. Either I'm doing something I believe is right, or I'm faking it as hard as I can because I don't know how to be right for sure, but I have to be doing something. And sometimes that works. I know its worked.

Then sometimes I find out months later that it was very wrong, but no one wanted to tell me. And now instead of making the small adjustments, its...

Its a mistake. A failure. [And that is so much harder than criticism.]

....what is the conversational equivalent of flashcards?

[bluediligence]

There's still a big, important difference between a well-intentioned mistake and deliberate malice. You've gotta try to remember that. [ … ] I'm not saying it won't still hurt, because that feeling … that feeling that you hurt someone you care about —

I know how deep it can dig.

[ Spoilers! She still feels bad about fucking up in his heart! ]

But that's where being kind to yourself comes in. [ Something that Donnie is terrible at, she's coming to learn. He may be a peacock with an ego the size of a whale, but he's a squishy, sensitive bean and his own worst critic when it comes to anything that matters to him. ] And encouraging honesty in others.

[ Encouraging, not demanding. ]

As for the conversational flashcards, it's … mm … [ hum ] I've noticed that it's easier, when we're having emotional talks, to get my ideas or feelings across to you through short examples that you can easily relate to. Like holding up two similar pictures, you know, instead of trying to tell you a whole story?

[othellovonryan]

[His hold tightens on her a bit.] Mistakes are dangerous when it affects other people. [A mutter against her shoulder.]

[Because he's made mistakes. He knows he does, its a must when it comes to invention. He knows other people make mistakes and can forgive them that. But when it comes to his mistakes, mistakes that leave his purview, and start to affect others-]

[Who catches it when he messes up in things no one else is willing or able to do?]

[He nods against her shoulder.] Those are easier to understand. Dr. Feelings does that. If he can show me to pictures of me being on both sides of a situation, its usually the easiest to understand.