I stand by what I said. I am both capable of keeping MK in check and of allowing him to be laid into within reason. And considering it bled over into infecting the air of the first home I've tried to build for myself, it wasn't within reason. You have your thoughts on it based on what you know of relationships and bonds, I'm telling you the objective truth from my experience both with MK and with my original partner and the person who wanted to end him to take his life back.
I'm many more times bitter about the damage to my home and well-being this last year, and not being allowed to process it on my own terms without worrying other people than I ever would have been if things weren't how they are now.
A guy named Lott apparently. Since my most dangerous powers are emotion-based, I've opted not to be around him for the foreseeable future, for everyone's safety. Including his.
No, it's a private room that no one but the people it's meant for can find...like when I decide that reality doesn't get to notice me.
I'd rather not. My resistance is more like a dice roll. And I don't choose the results.
Re: UN: FreeDyver - Voice (One week after Macaque's talk)
An objective truth must be known to matter. How could I have ever reasonably known that? Do people so often ask for your aid in laying into your partner that this should be common knowledge? [He crosses his arms.] You act like I should have known it. But the only way I could have known it was to know you. But I don't and you have stated how little interest you have in connecting to others. So what you can do and what you might do that is atypical of norms can't be factored in. That is not a reasonable thing to expect. Same for Wukong, I don't know him well enough to assume he would act in an atypical way. Because it is atypical and even in my own atypical thinking, I wouldn't think someone would agree to it, so there is no perspective that would get me there that is reasonable and wouldn't risk lowering my ability to insure my own safety.
Because MK had proven he could be a physical threat and I wouldn't have any evidence otherwise until I did speak with him.
That was an accidental affect
One I am sorry about. I didn't want to hurt you.
But MK hurt us and I wasn't going to handle him with kid gloves when I could insure my safety on my own than thinking his lovers wouldn't be comforting and assuring him while I gave him his rightful consequences. Because that is also a thing to consider.
I was furious.
I had every right to be furious.
And yelling at him while his partners were patting his back and telling him its okay would have just been aggravating. I deserved to be mad. He chose to do bad things, and he had to face the consequences.
I didn't owe him any kindness.
But I offered it anyway after I got to lay down how much of an asshole he was.
And if he takes someone being mad at him for his choices, he either needs to make better choices, or not take all that to heart so much. Something I can't control for him.
Lott doesn't speak for me either. But I will check in to see what can be done about reigning him in for any future Choco incidents.
....that's an inconvenient constitution.
Edited 2025-04-01 02:42 (UTC)
Re: UN: FreeDyver - Voice (One week after Macaque's talk)
You know what they say about having two nickels? I'd have two if I had one for every time someone wanted to go after someone I care about for reasonable reasons, plus one for being asked to be in on it because I understood the reasons.
And no, I'm not saying you should have known. I'm saying that you were wrong for not considering it seriously based solely on your experience. I can say you didn't know and that it's wrong you didn't think to check at the same time. I'm not saying you should handle MK with kid gloves, but I am saying you did go overboard. Including into areas that supposedly aren't anyone's business to weigh in on except for MK and Macaque, and did it in a way that's caused harm to MK that's still there. There is a difference.
I have to ask though. Do you tell your partners, your family, or your friends that it's all okay when they fuck up? Do you protect them from every bit of justified anger that comes their way? Because otherwise I can't see why you'd think that would be the case for others. I can say that you're justified in being angry, and I can say that you took it too far. I can also say that both Macaque and I are as much to blame as MK is, and still be understanding of the fact that your anger was justified. I never once said otherwise, and I've been and watched other people be burned so many times by stupid mistakes that shouldn't have been a thing that I have no patience left for people who are...negligent is probably the word I need. Not even myself.
If someone needs to be called out or deserves to be laid into, I'll stand aside and probably even help unless it goes too far. That's my line. That will always be my line and I don't care who I'm dealing with or if I'm the one doing the laying into. My partner, my family, the small child I'm responsible for aren't to not be accountable because that's how things keep happening. So it's better for everyone that the person's made to face it.
[Cole's tone is dead serious, unwavering, and full of conviction. He isn't defending what MK did, doesn't think Donnie's anger was wrong, only his actions. And he has no problem with consequences.]
Being a Lost is inconvenient in general. I'm used to it.
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othellovonryan) wrote2033-10-23 10:05 pm
Re: UN: FreeDyver - Voice (One week after Macaque's talk)
I'm many more times bitter about the damage to my home and well-being this last year, and not being allowed to process it on my own terms without worrying other people than I ever would have been if things weren't how they are now.
A guy named Lott apparently. Since my most dangerous powers are emotion-based, I've opted not to be around him for the foreseeable future, for everyone's safety. Including his.
No, it's a private room that no one but the people it's meant for can find...like when I decide that reality doesn't get to notice me.
I'd rather not. My resistance is more like a dice roll. And I don't choose the results.
Re: UN: FreeDyver - Voice (One week after Macaque's talk)
Because MK had proven he could be a physical threat and I wouldn't have any evidence otherwise until I did speak with him.
That was an accidental affect
One I am sorry about. I didn't want to hurt you.
But MK hurt us and I wasn't going to handle him with kid gloves when I could insure my safety on my own than thinking his lovers wouldn't be comforting and assuring him while I gave him his rightful consequences. Because that is also a thing to consider.
I was furious.
I had every right to be furious.
And yelling at him while his partners were patting his back and telling him its okay would have just been aggravating. I deserved to be mad. He chose to do bad things, and he had to face the consequences.
I didn't owe him any kindness.
But I offered it anyway after I got to lay down how much of an asshole he was.
And if he takes someone being mad at him for his choices, he either needs to make better choices, or not take all that to heart so much. Something I can't control for him.
Lott doesn't speak for me either. But I will check in to see what can be done about reigning him in for any future Choco incidents.
....that's an inconvenient constitution.
Re: UN: FreeDyver - Voice (One week after Macaque's talk)
And no, I'm not saying you should have known. I'm saying that you were wrong for not considering it seriously based solely on your experience. I can say you didn't know and that it's wrong you didn't think to check at the same time. I'm not saying you should handle MK with kid gloves, but I am saying you did go overboard. Including into areas that supposedly aren't anyone's business to weigh in on except for MK and Macaque, and did it in a way that's caused harm to MK that's still there. There is a difference.
I have to ask though. Do you tell your partners, your family, or your friends that it's all okay when they fuck up? Do you protect them from every bit of justified anger that comes their way? Because otherwise I can't see why you'd think that would be the case for others. I can say that you're justified in being angry, and I can say that you took it too far. I can also say that both Macaque and I are as much to blame as MK is, and still be understanding of the fact that your anger was justified. I never once said otherwise, and I've been and watched other people be burned so many times by stupid mistakes that shouldn't have been a thing that I have no patience left for people who are...negligent is probably the word I need. Not even myself.
If someone needs to be called out or deserves to be laid into, I'll stand aside and probably even help unless it goes too far. That's my line. That will always be my line and I don't care who I'm dealing with or if I'm the one doing the laying into. My partner, my family, the small child I'm responsible for aren't to not be accountable because that's how things keep happening. So it's better for everyone that the person's made to face it.
[Cole's tone is dead serious, unwavering, and full of conviction. He isn't defending what MK did, doesn't think Donnie's anger was wrong, only his actions. And he has no problem with consequences.]
Being a Lost is inconvenient in general. I'm used to it.